You’re going to get past this. You’re going to see that fabled rainbow after the storm.
I can’t tell you that the journey is not going to be painful, because it will be. It definitely won’t be easy. There will be countless times when you’ll wake up feeling the rays of the sun warming your skin and looking forward to what the day has to offer. But there will also be those days, more often than not, where you won’t even have the energy to open your eyes because once you do, you’ll have to go through yet another day with the pain in your heart. You’ll feel like you have to pretend that everything is picture perfect.
I can’t tell you that moving on will be quick, either. It won’t. Do take your time and if you need to grieve for months, then so be it. Don’t pay attention to what other people are going to think. Moving on is different for everyone. You need as much time as you need to move on, considering the pain you’ve already been through. Don’t try to numb that pain. Don’t pretend it’s not there. Accept it. Embrace it.
He was the love of your life. You pictured a future with him, a happily ever after. He might have meant it whenever he declared his love for you, but somewhere along the lines, they became just empty words, soiled by insincere apologies and fabricated promises.
You might have lost someone, but you have gained so much more during this ordeal. Love is not supposed to end up like this. Love doesn’t end up like this. Don’t let him take your shine. Don’t let him take your ability to love again because love is the best thing we do.
If I have learned anything this year, it's that I won't ever be ready for what life throws at me. I will never be nearly as prepared as I always anticipate. I won't know what to do or to feel when fate itself is outfacing me. I've loved and I've lost. I've learned to bravely accept the truth that I can't keep my heart safe any more than I can stop love from taking everything from me. I have learned that strength is believing in love, gentleness and kindness when we've only known is heartbreak and viciousness.
There were so many times I leaned on the strength of the ones who held my entire being each time I feel. I traveled a fair bit this year (internationally & locally) ; went to places that I never imagine of going. I did much more sports (ran, swam and climbed all the kms). I got out of my comfort zone and live a little more fearlessly. I created more art and I wrote more. I have learned to count the little blessings and learned to be more content. I have found songs, ideas, art and people that have made me feel glad to be alive.
I have learned to love whole heartedly and boldly again. To allow the edges of my heart and soul to be a little scratched as long as I remember to never give up. To allow love in, to be kind not only to other but to myself and to know that struggles doesn't equate to failures. I have learned to go through the storms knowing that I will be fine. And just like the saying, as one door closes and another open, I will move forward with the knowledge that unlike the others - I have another year ahead of me ; Another great shot at making it all the way, and a chance to get it right this time. #fluffedupamingopants
You don't own anything
Baked from disturbed ingredients
From end to end
On your recommend playlist
A mass of coloured hair
Always falling off
Like a rainbow fluttering towards the ground
Or a singer with a sweaty voice
You do not lock your doors
For you fear
The wood inside
Will scream of betrayal
If touched by your hands
And you leave the windows cracked open
As an escape route
Lest someone strolls in
And calls you out
On your name
You don't own anything
And neither do I
That's why we breathe so hard
To forget our names
And the recommend damned playlist
Photo by @travellina.hu